Written by Lauren Mikkor
At any given time of the year, thousands of EDM fans will flock to a show or festival just to experience a great DJ and listen to some great music. But some people just still aren’t convinced. There is a cluster of individuals in EDM culture that are aggressively forming between those with extensive musical knowledge, and those that are just here to have a good time and get turnt. These individuals, are what we call "EDM Hipsters." Whether they are hitch-hiking between bandwagons or highlighting their superiority and edginess in their musical palette, EDM hipsters have quite a lot to say about the industry. At one time or another, I can confidently say that we have all heard these phrases or comments at least once in our lives, and we can only dream that these ridiculous claims are put to rest soon.
10. “I was into them soo long ago.”
Hipsters don't seem to take as much pleasure from the music itself as from asserting their superiority or alternative nature. Whether it be early adoption, wider knowledge, or "better" taste, the hipster will always find something smug or dismissive to say in any conversation about music.
9. “Your appreciation for sell-out producers is physically offensive to me on a cellular level.”
We all know at least one song that has been played on either the radio or at the mainstage of festivals, and still found its way into our iTunes. Apparently, this has never been the case for the common hipster. So what if we danced to Martin Garrix once? EDM hipsters want absolutely nothing to do with these “sell-out” producers. I mean, even if they did, they still would’ve listened to it already like, a billion times.
8. “That song is SO mainstream.”
To further strengthen their musical integrity, an EDM hipster will be disgusted by the fact that another human on the planet (other than the producer) has heard the same song. Once this happens, they will feel threatened by their peers, in which case they will eradicate it from their library and considere it “too mainstream.”
7. “Yeah I got my tickets wayyy before everyone else, before the show was even announced.”
Hipsters somehow have a miraculous ability to purchase tickets (or get them for free) before anyone else. It’s a statement that is always impossible to support, but still doesn’t stop them from defying the laws of nature to promote their superior show knowledge.
6. “Oh my God I am so in love with *insert obscure producer name here*”
You should totally check them out: they’re three Russian 7 year olds that were raised in the Swiss Alps and make music by channeling their inner barn-yard animals and producing on something totally cooler than FL Studio….. Oh no! They released an EP? Now they’re too popular for me, cause I’m a hipster.
5. “I’m like, best friends with the dj.”
EDM hipsters will know everyone that is considered important at a show, especially the dj. You’ll hear them say “They send me music all the time” or “We have the same 2nd cousin on my mother’s father’s brother’s side.” However, they will still blame their inability to go backstage on reasons like “he was too busy” or "he didn't answer his phone."
4. "You didn’t know Eric Prydz, Pryda, and Cirez D were the same person? *SCOFFS*"
Okay! We learn from our mistakes. Not everybody is as in-tune with the dance music world as you obviously are. If some poor soul didn’t quite get the Prydz goes Pryda and Cirez D concept, we scoff from a distance, in our own time.
3. “Oh I knew every single song that he/she played.”
Oh really? Every single one? How many songs do you have in your library? I wonder if you’d recognize them again if I played them back to you...
2. “That line-up is SO mainstream!”
Despite the fact that the festival may be the biggest and best event to ever grace the planet - whether it be located on a remote tropical island, a cruise ship, or in the Playboy mansion - if the line up hints at one slither of Avi-Romer-Afro-Guetta - it’s just not happening.
1. "I prefer the *Insert unknown artist name* remix."
Sure, that remix might be great, but there is no need to repeatedly vocalise your musical snobbery to your peers every 3.8 seconds. If we didn’t ask for your input, we probably never cared about your opinion in the first place.
Just for the record, we love Cashmere Cat; but the Cashmere Cat Can't Even Tumblr is one of the best pages on the internet.
Photo Credit: cashmerecatcanteven.tumblr.com