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Dear Bill Murray, Please Steal that Wu-Tang Album From Shkreli

The internet blew up earlier today when an image, supposedly taken from the contract between the Wu-Tang Clan and pharma-bro/douche canoe/whole bag of dicks Martin Shkreli, indicated that Bill Murray was legally permitted to steal the one of a kind Wu-Tang album from Shkreli.

Sadly, the story proved to be a hoax. The actual details of the contract, according to Shkreli, are a closely guarded secret - but does not include any clause about stealing the album, or Bill Murray. However, we are calling on Bill Murray to make this glorious dream come true, lack of contractual stipulations (or legality under federal law) be damned. You've done amazing, godlike things before Bill, so this should be well within your powers. If there's a way that writing about dubstep and drug policy can help you pull it off, we'll gladly lend a hand. And it seems like Wu-Tang has your back:

In related news, Jesus fucking Christ Shkreli is dumb. His response to RZA's tweet:

He told the Daily News

“They would have to protect their necks,” he said Thursday, invoking one of the group’s most famous lyrics.

“It is me who they would not want to be f---ing with,” he added, invoking another.

You think your skill at price gouging sick people somehow makes you able to go toe-to-toe with the combined might of Bill Murray and the Wu-Tang Clan?!

Cool. Story. Bro.

Image: CBS News via The Washington Post

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