In today's technologically-dependent world, we have come to recognize that life is never as easy as it seems, and for better or for worse, we just have to sometimes complain about it on a public forum. Twitter has become that "medium" between the modern day hater and their equally-as-outspoken audience, and if there's one group of people that are known for pronouncing their inconveniences, it's DJs.
Twitter account @DJsComplaining has gained a rather hastened following since their launch over 2 years ago, and today it provides a cornucopia of scoffs and gut-wrenching stories about everything from crappy wifi at the airport to poor mini-fridge selections to the inconveniences of finding a "back door" to a venue. Here are 10 of our favorite road bumps of DJ life.
1) When Dan Clare learned the meaning of "free" mini-fridge
We've all been there - anxiously waiting for the keys to your hotel room just so you can fly up the elevator, kick down your door, and dive headfirst into the paradise that is your mini-fridge. But what happens when your "paradise" turns out to be an exhibit showcasing the remnants of a college-aged programmer's liquor-free and protein-free diet? Things go from 100 to 0 real quick, but at least they said it's "free," right?
2. When Giraffage flew 14 hours on a tin can with wings
Although all commercial airlines have moved past the "smoker's airbus" days, it's safe to say that they're still a few decades behind as far as "total comfort" goes. Not having a TV around for a 14-hour flight is a crime against humanity - who the hell can play sudoku for that long? We feel for you Giraffage, and we hope to never encounter the same horror in which you have experienced on this "air-plain."
3. When Chuckie forgot his most important meal of the day
It's impossible for any human to travel to any destination without forgetting something - it's called Murphy's Law. We have found our own ways of handling situations such as this, and for most of us, it's usually a matter of "should I go on without it?" or "do I buy another one?" Chuckie was caught in a serious catch-22 when he forgot his Thai papaya salad before hopping on a flight to Panama. Although I'm not the biggest fan of papaya, it is a common fruit in his homeland of Suriname, so it's safe to say that his love for the tropical fruit might run deeper than most.
4. When DJ Target didn't want to check out on time
DJ Target, you are a G. No one in the history of hotels has ever been happy about checking out of a room before 11 AM. Like, how is anyone supposed to eat brunch and maintain their luggage while being kicked out of a hotel room like 5 hours before their flight? As much as this is a complaint, I wholeheartedly believe that DJ Target speaks for change, and I approve this message.
5. When Mark Sinclair couldn't keep the ladies off his hats
As an avid hat-wearer, I see where Mark's coming from; my body is my palace, and my hat is my throne, and if anyone attempts to relinquish me from my throne, hasta la vista baby. Now what separates myself from Mark is how we handle these situations, and more importantly, how we overcome them. Although I do not experience the constant barrage of girls asking to wear my hat, I can imagine that with an issue such as this, keeping a tall and mighty collection of flat-brims and snapbacks might be an easy fix to this predicament. Then again, you can always just refer these "mercenaries" to my personal FB or TW, in which case I can handle the "assaults" accordingly.
6. When Kowton couldn't handle the daily reminder that someone is paid to clean up after him
Having someone clean up for you is one of the most comforting feelings of all time. When touring from hotel to hotel, it's only assumed that after spending all day or night partying, you can come home to fresh linens, towels and more - doesn't exactly sound like the worst gig in the world, right? So why the hell do you have to complain when those hard-working individuals that are already 50 clean-rooms-deep want to provide you with these amenities? I say, try to appreciate the service and refrain from delivering them the "verbal guillotine" so-to-speak.
7. When 3LAU & Oliver Heldens couldn't make their friendship Facebook official
We live in an age where meeting someone is not limited to face-to-face interaction. Just one click of a button can publicly announce that two people are friends, dating, married and divorced, all in one day. This "certification" of friendship clearly has its limitations, and for 3LAU and Oliver Heldens, the boundary of their love is all too real. As much as that little check symbol means to you on FB, it might be easier just to get the homie's cellphone number and call it a day.
8. When Friend Within saw the worst in a better-than-average situation
Not going to lie, if I had a phone in my bathroom, I'd be the most productive pooper in the history of time. When I encounter hotels that offer this amenity, plans have a way of changing, and I end up making the most out of this glorious perk. Now, I'm an avid tea-drinker, so I can see how Friend Within had a tough time coming to terms with the lack of supplies, but you want to know what my solution is? Go use the John with its spiffy telephone and call the lobby for a cup of tea. They might even deliver it to you on the toilet, which essentially would be "killing two birds with one stool."
9. When CAKED UP couldn't go 10 minutes without catching a blunt
We get it - you like to smoke trees. Although they aren't smoking in the picture, I can assume that they went on to do so at this Manhattan hotel, where both cigarettes are forbidden and marijuana is decriminalized (aka you get a ticket for both). I don't have anything against smokers of any kind, but all I request is that you try and stay away from the stoner badass stereotype - it gets old real fast.
10. When Dillon Francis got wrecked by Whole Foods
Whole Foods is not just any supermarket - it's the Hilton of supermarkets, and they sure as hell don't come cheap. Whether it's their indie, sugar-free, glucose-absent, space-material-stuffed candy bars or their free-range eggs, you can expect a higher-than-expected price to pay for such quality ingredients. Dillon Francis got hit hard with the bourgeois price tags of Whole Foods for buying just five items, and although the $230 is a bit steep, I can only imagine what he was getting into that night.