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This ‘Anti-Energy’ Drinks Secret is the Bottle, Not the Ingredients

Let me paint a picture for you.


You and your friends are outside the venue having just seen one of your favorite artists and dancing the night away. Some of the crew want to an after party but you, feeling perfectly satisfied by just having your mind blown at an incredible all night show, you decide to call a cab and head home. You finally get home, and with your bed calling you name, you collapse into its soft embrace, content but exhausted. Then ten minutes go by. Then twenty. Then an hour later, you feel as tired as ever but somehow just can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the excitement from the night out. Maybe you tried something a little stronger than your average cocktail. Whatever the case may be, wouldn't it be a godsend if there were some sort of all natural anti-energy drink to turn off all the noise and just put you to sleep?

Well yes it would but that’s not what we're here to talk about. We’re here to talk about Slow. Slow is a “calming milkshake” developed by Polish design studio Opus B. Slow claims to be “the classic opposite of energy drinks,” which would be great, but the only description provided for the drink’s ingredients is, “content of the drink makes us slow down.” So either it really is some magical sleep juice, or it’s like that old neuro drink that had different flavors and each flavor did something different like making you tired or more focused, aka a carbonated placebo. Regardless, the magic claims to be in the packaging more than the drink itself.


According to the designers of the product, “Slow provokes a new ritual of product consumption.” Basically the idea is the bottle is designed to only dispense the product at a slow, predetermined rate, thereby making you “slow down (written on the bottle)” and appreciate the silence of a moment. To enjoy yourself. Yeah. But hey, maybe if you put some Pedialyte in it it’ll stop you from chugging it mid day at a festival, chasing it with an entire bottle of water and then puking because you didn’t slow down, you just went right back to dancing. I wouldn’t really blame you.


At the end of the day, if this really does turn out to be some magical sleep juice, I’ll definitely be investing, but it seems like it’s just some woker than thou marketing.

H/T: Electronic Beats

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Will Shuttleworth Contributing Writer

Here in Boise we might not have the biggest scene, but we can rage with the best of em. If I'm not throwing lights/raging at an event I'm probably snowboarding.

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