The Four Stages of Procrastination You Go Through Before Every Music Festival
Every year you make plans to spend money you don't have on the latest and greatest music festival. You buy your tickets almost six months in advance and you're excited to start planning. You'll need a hotel, plane/bus tickets, food, and to decide on which friends you're going to walk through the festival gates with, then immediately lose contact with for the entire weekend. And although you've already checked off which artists you're gonna see and have meticulously planned the cocktail of drugs that you're going to be taking, the one thing you haven't planned is how the hell you're gonna pack for this.
Behold, the four stages of music festival procrastination.
Naive Optimism (6 Months til the Festival)
This is it, this is finally going to be the year you get it together! You're going to get everything done early so you can get the lowest prices and not have to scramble. You happily boot up your computer and see that flights are actually way more affordable than you imagined, you better hurry up and buy them before the price increases. But wait, what's that cat doing? You better click the video and find out. Fast forward a few hours later and you find yourself curled up on the couch neck deep in memes and social media posts. You look at the clock and realize it's already nine o'clock and you say "well it's okay, I'll just do it tomorrow, I won't procrastinate any more!"
5 Months Later...
Okay, I'm For Real Going to Start Planning Now (30 Days til the Festival)Five months have went by and you're still the lazy bum you were when you bought the tickets. You haven't become even the slightest bit more productive and you still don't even know how you're getting to the show. But you tell yourself enough is enough, you're going to buckle down and at least book the flight. If you buy your plane ticket you can go back to Parks and Rec reruns and hibernate for a little longer. You open up your laptop with pride and you proudly open up Chrome and check out the flights, you're finally doing it, you're finally getting your life on track! "$1000?!, the price went up 50% since I last looked!" you exclaim, starling your dog and pissing off the old lady who lives above you. Begrudgingly you scour the internet desperate for ways to get cheap airfare. The prices are so dismal you even consider a craigslist ad looking for a kidney in exchange for a free trip in a private plane. After 45 minutes of crying and remembering that you don't want to become the next subject of a crime documentary you reluctantly buy the airfare and kiss away the dreams of ever paying off your student loans.
The Week of the Show
After calling approximately 30 hotels and realizing all of the good ones are sold out you start to panic. You begin to post on the Facebook event page asking for someone to lend you and your "squad" a place to crash and you promise to repay them in "good vibes".
Upon posting the message you realize that you've essentially resorted to begging instead of paying like a responsible adult, and you promptly delete the post and book the crappy hotel.
The Day Before The Show
You can do this! We're so close, we've only had one hundred anxiety attacks but that's okay! You sit around all day and decide to go to the store in the evening because you obviously haven't learned a thing over the past six months. The store isn't so bad despite the first store only having a few of your items forcing you to go to several different stores.
Finally you've finished shopping and you're all ready to go to the show! A sense of relief washes over you and you finally get ready to relax before the festivities. But that relaxation only last around two minutes until you realize the worst part is yet to come... packing. Everyone who has traveled literally anywhere knows that packing is an activity created by satan himself.
Packing goes a bit like this; you go into your room and look at all of your clothes and then decide to lay on your bed that suddenly feels like the softest cloud. Now begins the biggest struggle of your life, how are you going to get out of this bed and force yourself to actually pack. Your desire to be lazy is so strong you consider just staying home all weekend and watching Netflix.
Eventually you find that inner strength and you burst from your bed and get up to pack your stuff! You're not going to spend another weekend on the couch, you're going to do something with your life. You finally put your shirts in your bag and feel proud, so you lay down on your bed again to celebrate. You worked hard, you deserve a break! You end up repeating this step ten times until you're actually packed. That's it! You're truly done! You can finally crawl into bed for that well deserved three hours of sleep and prepare yourself for a weekend of madness.
Was it worth it? Definitely. Do you now realize that you shouldn't procrastinate? Yes! Will you make this mistake again? Absolutely.