It's hard out here for a DJ
In today's technologically-dependent world, we have come to recognize that life is never as easy as it seems, and for better or for worse, we just have to sometimes complain about it on a public forum. Twitter has become that "medium" between the modern day hater and their equally-as-outspoken audience, and if there's one group of people that are known for pronouncing their inconveniences, it's DJs.
Twitter account @DJsComplaining has gained a rather hastened following since their launch over 5 years ago, and today it provides a cornucopia of scoffs and gut-wrenching stories about everything from crappy wifi at the airport to poor mini-fridge selections to the inconveniences of finding a "back door" to a venue. Here are our favorite road bumps of DJ life.
1) When Dan Clare learned the meaning of "free" mini-fridge
We've all been there - anxiously waiting for the keys to your hotel room just so you can fly up the elevator, kick down your door, and dive headfirst into the paradise that is your mini-fridge. But what happens when your "paradise" turns out to be an exhibit showcasing the remnants of a college-aged programmer's liquor-free and protein-free diet? Things go from 100 to 0 real quick, but at least they said it's "free," right?
2. When Giraffage flew 14 hours on a tin can with wings
Although all commercial airlines have moved past the "smoker's Airbus" days, it's safe to say that they're still a few decades behind as far as "total comfort" goes. Not having a TV around for a 14-hour flight is a crime against humanity - who the hell can play sudoku for that long? We feel for you Giraffage, and we hope to never encounter the same horror in which you have experienced on this "air-plain."
3. When The Magician said what we were all thinking
Food always smells delicious when you're the one eating it, but when you're trapped on a plane forced to smell someone else's meal its far less than appetizing. But to be honest, this is something we can totally relate to.
4. When Chuckie forgot his most important meal of the day
It's impossible for any human to travel to any destination without forgetting something - it's called Murphy's Law. We have found our own ways of handling situations such as this, and for most of us, it's usually a matter of "should I go on without it?" or "do I buy another one?" Chuckie was caught in a serious catch-22 when he forgot his Thai papaya salad before hopping on a flight to Panama. Although I'm not the biggest fan of papaya, it is a common fruit in his homeland of Suriname, so it's safe to say that his love for the tropical fruit might run deeper than most.
5. When Eptic's flight got "upgraded"
DJs get to travel all over the world, taking in new sites, meeting new people, and performing in front of massive crowds. Unfortunately, flying becomes a regular routine. So when you're flight attendant says you're seat is being upgraded, it's usually a moment of joy while you look back on the jealous eyes in Economy. Except in this case it was a false alarm.
6. When DJ Target didn't want to check out on time
DJ Target, you are a G. No one in the history of hotels has ever been happy about checking out of a room before 11 AM. Like, how is anyone supposed to eat brunch and maintain their luggage while being kicked out of a hotel room like 5 hours before their flight? As much as this is a complaint, I wholeheartedly believe that DJ Target speaks for change, and I approve this message.
7. When deadmau5 was just happy to be here
There's an adrenaline rush that comes from performing in front of a crowd that is moving to the rhythm of songs you produced or selected. But in this case, these girls are less than thrilled to be at a music festival.
8. When all Habstrakt wanted was to catch some Zzzs
Being on the road all the time is a rough life. To top it off, DJs manage the weirdest sleep schedules and are constantly at the mercy of their next flight time.
9. When Mark Sinclair couldn't keep the ladies off his hats
As an avid hat-wearer, I see where Mark's coming from; my body is my palace, and my hat is my throne, and if anyone attempts to relinquish me from my throne, hasta la vista baby. Now what separates me from Mark is how we handle these situations, and more importantly, how we overcome them. Although I do not experience the constant barrage of girls asking to wear my hat, I can imagine that with an issue such as this, keeping a tall and mighty collection of flat-brims and snapbacks might be an easy fix to this predicament. Then again, you can always just refer these "mercenaries" to my personal FB or TW, in which case I can handle the "assaults" accordingly.
10. When 3LAU & Oliver Heldens couldn't make their friendship Facebook official
We live in an age where meeting someone is not limited to face-to-face interaction. Just one click of a button can publicly announce that two people are friends, dating, married and divorced, all in one day. This "certification" of friendship clearly has its limitations, and for 3LAU and Oliver Heldens, the boundary of their love is all too real. As much as that little check symbol means to you on FB, it might be easier just to get the homie's cell phone number and call it a day.
11. When Jackal took reading for granted
If you've ever been to another country where you don't know the language, you know the feeling of being unable to communicate. Whether you're asking for directions, or just want to order food off the restaurant menu, everything becomes a challenge. Jackal learned to appreciate the simple pleasure of reading signs after his travels to Asia.
12. When CAKED UP couldn't go 10 minutes without catching a blunt
We get it - you like to smoke trees. Although they aren't smoking in the picture, I can assume that they went on to do so at this Manhattan hotel, where both cigarettes are forbidden and marijuana is decriminalized (aka you get a ticket for both). I don't have anything against smokers of any kind, but all I request is that you try and stay away from the stoner badass stereotype - it gets old real fast.
13. When Dillon Francis got wrecked by Whole Foods
Whole Foods is not just any supermarket - it's the Hilton of supermarkets, and they sure as hell don't come cheap. Whether it's their indie, sugar-free, glucose-absent, space-material-stuffed candy bars or their free-range eggs, you can expect a higher-than-expected price to pay for such quality ingredients. Dillon Francis got hit hard with the bourgeois price tags of Whole Foods for buying just five items, and although the $230 is a bit steep, I can only imagine what he was getting into that night.
14. When Alison Wonderland tried to maintain a positive outlook
Not every DJ wants to be known for complaining about a career that has brought them so many incredible opportunities. However, slow people walking shoulder to shoulder through the airport is something we can ALL relate to.
15. When Friend Within saw the worst in a better-than-average situation
Not going to lie, if I had a phone in my bathroom, I'd be the most productive pooper in the history of time. When I encounter hotels that offer this amenity, plans have a way of changing, and I end up making the most out of this glorious perk. Now, I'm an avid tea-drinker, so I can see how Friend Within had a tough time coming to terms with the lack of supplies, but you want to know what my solution is? Go use the John with its spiffy telephone and call the lobby for a cup of tea. They might even deliver it to you on the toilet, which essentially would be "killing two birds with one stool."
16. When Seth Troxler told us that he's not a fan of children
To be honest, we're not either.
17. When Zedd just wanted some peace and quiet
Going to a restaurant is supposed to be a peaceful experience to enjoy tasty food, get into deep conversations with friends, and take a moment to relax. But yelling over a shitty restaurant playlist is seriously annoying.
18. When Pegboard Nerds faced struggles we can all relate to
We've all been there.
19. When Jackmaster wasn't feeling the holiday spirit
Some of us are born with the gift to immaculately wrap presents in a way that would make your grandmother proud. Unfortunately for Jackmaster, he lacks that gene.
20. When Mike Servito just wanted some cold drinks
Ugh, seriously. Nobody has time for that.