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Did you know that when DJs yell "1, 2, 3, jump" into the microphone, what they're really doing is giving themselves a pep talk not to pee their pants?

The DJ Pee Jug is a real product that allows DJs to relieve themselves during those marathon, peak-hour sets where they simply cannot stop playing bangers to take a bathroom break.

Using the DJ Pee Jug and its patented "reservoir tip"—named for its resemblance to the end of a condom—they can now drain the dragon right there on stage via the unit's attachable hose and receptacle. The brilliant minds behind the product, record label Deep Tech Los Angeles, also conceptualized a handy adapter for female DJs so they too can experience the DJ Pee Jug, which they claim is sanitary, leakproof, and easy to clean. Check out the video here.

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Another must-have for any DJ looking to level up their game this holiday season is the DJ Request Stun Stick. With the new product, which repels unsolicited requests from clubbers, DJs may never again be asked to play "WAP."

DJs know full well that requests from drunk, annoying people aren't just limited to music selections. If one of these airheads requests a drink, a line of booger sugar, or even a phone charger, simply whip out the DJ Request Stun Stick to introduce a jolt of instant karma. It sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, but fear not—the visionaries behind Deep Tech Los Angeles are a step ahead. The unit comes complete with four different shock modes, which are carefully calibrated with "electronic vibe-changing soundwaves" so you can decide which requests are the most egregious and deserve the worst stun.

Deep Tech Los Angeles

These items are not actually for sale, of course, nor do they even exist. However, one of the funniest press releases we've ever received asserted that manufacturers interested in developing the units should get in touch with Deep Tech Los Angeles via their Facebook page.

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