"Put your motherf***** hands up, let me here you f***** scream!"
Sadly, in this new era of Americanisation and EDM you're as likely to hear this being shouted over the PA at a fairground ride as you are at a DJ set.
The Prophet finds this embarrassing and feels sorry for you as a fan if you think this improves the atmosphere at an electronic music event.
In the Prophet's opinion, it devalues the music being played during the set, because surely if the music is of such high quality, then there should be no need for gimmicks, no overbearing voiceover, and no ridiculous sound effects added to the DJ set.
Say what you want about your opinion, which The Prophet has previously stated, he doesn't respect even slightly, but a DJ set used to be solely about the music. DJs earned their respect for the quality of their song choices and their ability to mix, suddenly it's about who can clamber highest and jump the longest on their multi-million pound DJ equipment.
How can a crowd really judge you on your talent, if the only talent you seem to possess is the ability to divert everybody's attention away from your set and directly onto you repeating the same overbearing statements, for almost the entire time you're on stage?
The value of the music we love and the industry we live for is being diminished because the attention span of the average raver has shrunk smaller than their seven-second Snapchat stories.
(This is what you look like a DJ turned hype man)
A DJ should be judged on their music, the connection with the crowd should be a connection through sound. But truly is there anything more cringeworthy than the DJ who hides behind his voice and yelling over his own set, even yelling over their own music.
Regardless of your opinion on this matter, you're wrong, Unless you're in the 1970's disco era, or a rapper there are very few exceptions to drowning out the music with your voice, it's teeth-gnashingly embarrassing, and worst of all it drags the audience away from being caught in the moment and lost in the music.
A quick introduction at the beginning and possibly a quick exit speech should be sufficient, the rest of the time, your music should be the only thing speaking to the crowd.
Of course, The Prophet blames 'you' the impatient crowd. Who else is there to blame? It's all about image and presentation in this modern DJ hellscape. Could you imagine twenty years ago one of the DJ greats interrupting his set to ask if the crowd were “having a good time”? Not a chance, the crowd would have acted in revulsion, and the three-hour set would have felt like you were listening to the radio charts.
In a similar fashion, it would be almost unheard of for a DJ to disappear behind their decks for three hours. But if a DJ is constantly speaking and yelling over their sets, how is that any different than a commercial radio DJ introducing music on his radio show? Where is the seamless mixing between tracks, where is the shock and awe of a previously unmixable track being intertwined with the previous track, where is the magic of the set?
If a DJ is spending more time psyching the crowd up than they are behind their decks, what makes them differ between any other DJ, doing the exact same thing, time and time again. This again starts to slide into the territory of the dreaded Press Play DJ, but that's another issue to be discussed on another day.
The Prophet pities the modern crowd because perhaps you expect the DJ to appear from behind the decks and constantly interact with the audience, maybe you have a constant need of approval, or perhaps you don't actually know if you're having a good time. Luckily the DJ will be keen to remind you within the next thirty seconds, or at the most before the next song.
What happened to you having a great time spellbound by the enchanting music, hypnotized by the disorientating lights? A night where a three-hour set disappeared like the stars at dawn, leaving you standing at the end of the night grinning from ear to ear, unable to say anything except, “wow, where did the time go?”
You can say many things about The Prophet, one of which might be that he's old-fashioned, but you could never say that his love for DJ's and dance music is based on how loud the DJ can shout over the music because that would be quite ridiculous.
Almost as ridiculous as the act itself.
Until next time The Prophet has spoken
This weeks classic track to listen to : Talla 2XLC - No Inbetween (The extended mix)